You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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