what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
