On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I supernannyed him into submission
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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