I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
