I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
