I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
