it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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