am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
