ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just had sex on a roof
my liver is dry heaving
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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