Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
