I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
