I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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