he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The air was thick with penises
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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