gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
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