So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
