I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Can Purell be used as lube?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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