Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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