i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
