Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
