I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I would ride that face into the sunset
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
