Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
