I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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