I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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