Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
