If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
