So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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