you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
