im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
