Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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