Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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