I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
