My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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