I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
This toilet bowl is my home.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
