I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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