i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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