so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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