It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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