To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
