Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
