All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
