I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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