I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
