You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
