she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
