he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My dick has a subreddit
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
