Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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