look no pants
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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