Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
