Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
