Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
