I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
